I had a very proud momma moment last week. I hopped in my daughter’s car for a short ride across town and, as she always does before she puts the car in drive and after she puts on her seatbelt, she turned on her music. Then she said, “This is the song I’ve been listening to a lot lately.” I was prepared for some crazy song that the “kids nowadays” are listening to, but instead I heard the smooth voice of Frank Sinatra singing “My Way.” I was thrilled.
First of all, I was super proud that my 20-something daughter likes Frank Sinatra. This joy is doubled by the fact that her 20-something older brother also loves “Old Blue Eyes” and regularly plays Frank Sinatra records. (And can I just pause right here for a moment to insert that it is absolute sacrilege to use the song “My Way” for a commercial that tests your poop for colon cancer. Every time that commercial comes on tv I wonder what the great crooner would think about his masterpiece being used in that way. This is coming from someone who has in fact walked into the UPS store carrying a box of literal crap to be sent off and tested because I am now of a certain age when it becomes necessary to check these things. But I digress.)
Secondly, I’m so proud that my daughter has the confidence to be herself. She had bumps along the way in her college years, graduated with the excitement of hoping to move on to vet school, only to be denied by all the schools to which she applied. Her fellow pre-vet friends are all getting into vet school on their first try, yet she has managed to have the perfect balance of excitement for them and short-lived grief coupled with determination for her next attempt at applying. This daughter of mine has always been stubbornly unique. She forged her own fashion path and her own avenues of self-expression (a few piercings and tattoos which, though quite tasteful, nearly killed me). She’s finding her way in the world. When she was little, she was the kid who knew where your buttons were and pushed them just for the fun of it while her brother was opinionated but always obedient and compliant in the end. She’s always wanted to do things her way.
As a Christian, I know that there are some problems with the idea of doing things “my way.” In fact, if I claim Christ as my Lord and King, I can’t do anything my way. I am to follow the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John 14:6) The spirit of Sinatra’s song is what I like. It’s the attitude of, “I don’t care what the world may say. I don’t need their approval. It’s okay to be different.” You need that tenacity of spirit if you’re going to be a true follower of Christ, because you ARE going to look different. You probably will get laughed at, left out, and overlooked. 2 Timothy 3:1-2 says, “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” In our current culture, that probably won’t mean losing your life, but it will likely mean losing the approval of those around you, losing friends, and maybe even losing your job. If doing things my way means doing things God’s way, I am probably not going to be very popular. I have to stand firm, facing it all and standing tall (to paraphrase a line from the song).
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” When I give my life to Christ, I give Him my desires for my life. I allow Him to work in me and transform my heart and mind so that my way becomes His way. Psalm 37:4 says it well: “Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.” When the Lord becomes my utmost delight and joy, my desires become His. I want what He wants.
It’s a constant battle, though, isn’t it? If I’m being honest, I get it backwards a lot. I want my way to be God’s way. Very seldom do I pray, as Jesus taught, “Thy will be done.” I ask for my will to be done. I tell God what my way is and then ask Him to do it. That indicates I haven’t yielded control. I’m living like this lyric from the song: “I planned each charted course, Each careful step along the byway.”
My prayer for my daughter, for me, my family, and for everyone who claims to follow Christ is that we would adopt the spirit of “My Way” but not the literal words, that we would resolve and purpose in our hearts to daily give over our desires to Christ and follow His way. His way is always best.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways…You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.” Isaiah 55: 8-9, 12a